Here Again
by MidnightMarchioness
Summary: No matter how many times I leave I always end up back here. Just when I think that I have seen the last of that horrific scene reality always has to come rushing back. [Oneshot]


**Heyo, this is a oneshot about Sabers time after the holy grail war. This was mainly written to give Saber some closure of her past as I feel she never truly gets that in the anime, and lets face it Saber deserves to be happy after everything she went through. Anyway read and enjoy and if your feeling really dangerous review :)**

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Here Again

Her eyelids fluttered open in hesitation against the dim light.

She knew what to expect.

Countless blades and shields dotted the hillside, their respective owners mere lifeless corpses strewn across what once had been a battlefield. However now it was only a place of death with knights sprawled across the bloodstained grassland, all of the knights except one.

A lone woman watched the sunset from her perch on the hilltop with an empty heart. The sun never would complete its cycle as it was perpetually fixed to that point in the sky, mocking her, taunting her. This day should have ended centuries ago, but to her it never would. She was destined to be trapped here for eternity.

Eventually she could stand the sight no longer and fell to her knees as she clutched the hilt of her blade in abject defeat.

"Why, why must I always come back here?"

She clung to the blade as if it was her only lifeline, the only thing keeping her sane.

"I know I'm a failure, I know I was never a true king. So why must the world continue to punish me?"

As she let out a cry of anguish she sunk lower to the ground, but still refused to relinquish her hold of the magical blade. She was nearing her breaking point and she didn't know what would happen if she snapped.

"You're wrong Saber."

Ever so slowly she lifted her head and looked behind her to find no one. Her spirit sunk further into the depths of despair as she rested her head against the back of the sword and let her eyes close of their own volition. She almost gave up hope completely until she heard the crunch of footsteps. With willpower she didn't know she still possessed she lifted her head and opened her eyes.

"It's good to see you Saber."

She stared at him for a moment before her mouth supplied his name.

"Iskandar."

The barbarian gave a hearty laugh and pulled her to her feet by one shoulder. Still grasping her collarbone he gazed alongside her at the battlefield bathed in dusk.

"Why it's glorious."

She looked at the death riddled plains and turned her head away, she had gazed upon that wretched place enough to last more than a lifetime.

"Why are you here Iskandar?"

The King of conquerors took in the scenery before answering.

"Who knows Saber, the world is full of its own magic."

She turned her eyes to the hem of her dress as she bunched the blue fabric in her hands.

"I see then, so this is also part of my punishment."

"Sab-"

She wrung his hand from her shoulder and took a step back in refusal of whatever he was about to say.

"No you said it yourself, I led them but I never knew them, I was no true king."

"Arturia!"

She froze and sucked in a sharp breath. The familiar voice had come from behind her and she didn't dare look. Before she was prepared her most trusted advisor made his way into her vision with his helmet tucked under his arm, placing it on a nearby rock he returned his attention to saber.

"Arturia."

This time he said her name in the most gentle manner possible hoping to placate the frantic king. His name was on the tip of her tongue as well and before she could stop herself it had escaped.

"Sir Lancelot."

The tense air from before slackened replaced by a calm atmosphere, and before any more words could be exchanged Iskandar felt the need to make his presence known.

"Ah berserker I did not expect to see you here as well."

The knight took no notice of the barbarian and instead focused solely on his king. Kneeling as he had done many a time he pledged his fealty.

"Do not mock me Lancelot."

Still bowing he replied.

"Nothing of the sort milady."

"Stand." Obeying he looked into the lifeless eyes of his past and future king.

"I do not deserve your loyalty, leave." The words were like ice in his chest.

"No Arturia."

He voice was firm and gave no sign of doubt and she insisted once again with similar results.

Frustrated at being denied her request she strode up to Lancelot with a renewed fire in her soul.

"Don't you understand, I failed you, I failed Camelot, I failed England I don't deserve anyone's loyalty! I couldn't even understand the Knights of the Round Table. I am a failure both as a king and a friend."

Unflinchingly he looked her straight in the eye.

"If that is what you think you are wrong milady."

She whirled around in frustration at his stubbornness and came face to face with Iskandar.

"Listen to your advisor Saber, if there is anyone who was a failure it was me."

Iskandar returned his eyes to the horizon as he prepared himself for what he was about to say next.

"I was wrong Saber when I said you weren't a king, you were more of a king than I ever was."

A far off look came into his eyes as he was whisked back to days of his own exploits.

"In truth I lead my men to the far reaches of the known world. I sat amongst them, ate amongst them, and shared all the spoils of war with them…. But I was merely fooling myself. I led them yes, but only to their death, seeking pleasure and renown along the way. I never stopped to consider that the treasure I was looking for was the gift of my own beating heart pounding in my chest. Even on my deathbed I still didn't realize it, it was only after I became a heroic spirit that I finally understood. So Saber you aren't allowed to call yourself a failure because you accomplished more in a lifetime than I ever did. You recognized and accepted your purpose with open arms while I was only chasing a fools dream."

Silence hung in the air as the two absorbed his words.

"I-I understand what you are trying to tell me rider, but I still failed even if I did know my duty. And besides that I never allowed anyone close to me, even if I did trust them with my life. I never even opened up to my knights."

Her voice started to quiver as guilt flooded her.

"Arturia you didn't fail us, it was us who failed you."

She glanced at her advisor with tears rimming her eyes, however, there was no chance she would let them fall and mark her as a weak woman. She had been taught at a young age that crying was a sign of weakness and had mastered the art of holding back her tears even if it did hurt more than any wound she could ever receive.

"That's a lie Lancelot, you and I both know it."

The knight shook his head and knelt before her once again.

"Milady we never would have dreamed of courting you, even such a simple thing as friendship was seen as taboo. Many admired you Arturia and I am ashamed to admit that my jealousy made me into berserker. Every knight of the Round Table regarded you as untouchable; we thought that to seek any sort of companionship with you would taint your noble spirit. I see now that we just ended up isolating you from the world Arturia and it is with deepest shame that I ask you to forgive me."

For perhaps the first time in her life she let the tears flow over and cascade down her face.

"Sir Lancelot there is nothing to forgive."

He didn't move from his position in silent obstinance.

"Lancelot it is I who should apologize I couldn't save you even when you needed me most."

She looked to the bloodstained field knowing that somewhere he was among the dead. He rose.

"Arturia I didn't die here." Shock came over her face.

"Then-"

"England didn't fall."

Her legs gave out beneath her as she gazed out with new meaning.

"Then what happened?"

"You died a hero."

The truth was hard to accept and even harder to understand.

"But I thought…" She trailed off unsure how to complete the thought.

"We rushed you back to Camelot, but we couldn't save you."

Extending her hand Lancelot took it and helped her to her feet.

"If that's true then why am I still here?"

"I can only assume that it is because this was the victory that made you a heroic spirit." Iskandar cut in before Lancelot could speak.

She beheld the battlefield in a new light as she gazed over the corpses of the knights who gave their lives for England's cause, and took pride in the fact that she was among them. A bittersweet smile came to her face as she relished the thought.

"Well then I believe our time is up."

The baritone of Iskandar's voice faded as he left for his own reality marble leaving only Lancelot and Saber.

"Well then I do believe it is also time for me to depart Arturia."

Kneeling for the last time he kissed the back of her hand before disappearing like Iskandar. Now alone again Arturia Pendragon felt at peace. She grasped the hilt of Excalibur and treasured all that it represented. No longer would the scene of her knights haunt her every waking moment; instead the dread was replaced by a feeling of content as she took solace in the fact that she could say for certain she hadn't failed them.

And from that moment forth she would strive to make sure she never would.

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 **And there you have it. I felt that after everything Iskandar said in Fate/Zero about her not being a true king he owed it to Arturia to admit he was wrong. Oh and Lancelot was part of her inner court so it was no duh to include him in here.**


End file.
